Borderline Personality Disorder - Information for the family

On The Borderline: FRUSTRATION!!

On The Borderline: FRUSTRATION!!

FRUSTRATION!!

I'm now on my fourth (?) doctor in two years. This time a psychiatrist. I've been on so many different meds over the years, and I'm getting tired of the fluff. I was taken off Celexa, had the Wellbutrin upped, and am now on Buproprian. Seems to me, these meds in accordance to BPD, depression, anxiety, Bipolar, and other issues I have, is pretty much a knuckle band aid on a severed leg stump. Not going to do much to staunch the bleeding. Why they think all these fluff meds are going to help, I don't know. But it pisses me off. My patience is down to nil, my depression is kicking my ass, and I'm getting panic attacks daily now. I don't get why I'm just not being taken seriously. I'm still in 'pre treatment', but that's just ten weeks of classes telling me what I'll learn in ACTUAL treatment! What a waste of time! I get so fed up with this circle I have to keep running, and the whole time, no one seems to GET IT. Outside of other sufferers, that is. I'm going to see that dumb ass nurse again thursday, and I already know that they're going to tell me to 'give it time' when I tell them the new med compilation isn't doing SHIT, outside of making my symptoms more pronounced. I'm sick of being patronized, like I'm a silly little girl that will pass through this phase. I guess we'll see, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to change doctors yet again, and soon, if I want to keep any semblence of sanity. Yea right.

Exposed

I was officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in 2000; at the ripe old age of 19. I'd always shown all symptoms of BPD, but didn't know what I had, because I'd never HEARD of it! So having a diagnoses was quite the relief. Fast forward ten years: I'm still here, and still battling this disorder. I didn't know of any treatment options (aside from meds) for many years. I only recently learned about DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). I've now been referred to start it, and I'm also going to a psychiatrist, on recommendation of the therapist. Buuuut, to top it off, I'm now looking down the barrel of a Bipolar diagnoses, as well. Oh lordy. I guess that means I really AM batshit crazy! So, I'm guessing Lithium will be in my near future. As long as it takes away these horrible feelings, and makes me seem 'normal', then it's worth it. I'm so tired of emotionally clinging to others, to the point of humiliation. Mood swings from ecstatic and productive, to depressed and reclusive. All I can do is wait and see. I've been waiting more than ten years...what's another few months, right? =)